Captain Stammers by Kevin Bloody Wilson
Captain Stammers lyrics
Captain Thomas Stammers a great explorer from our past,
But they called him 'Captain Stutterin' Stammers' 'cause he stuttered
like a bastard,
Couldn't stop himself from stutterin', no matter how hard he tried,
So every time he named some place, he named the fucker twice.
Like, Wobba Wobba Curl Curl Lang Lang Bon Bon
Pullya Pully Willy Willy Yama Yama Late,
Nulla Nulla Woody Woody Bang Bang Lou Lou
And Gin Gin three times in three different states.
And his ol' black tracker named Jackie Jackie had a worn out
wooden leg,
Couldn't walk a straight line just zig-zags circles and figure eights
instead.
But they found Patty Patty Dum Dum Wog Wog Same Same
Copper Copper Jim Jim's Big Dong Dong,
Bundy Bundy Bindy Bindy Bet Bet and Why Why
It be plain ol' Why if weren't for Captain Tom.
That plan didn't ever gape by the stars but when that start out at
dawn,
Within twenty minutes they'd be lost again 'cause the fuckin' stars
had gone.
But they found Bungle Bungle Mia Mia Nap Nap Nye Nye
Bing Bing Cooler Cooler Narra Narra Mount,
Bulla Bulla Goodie Goodie Jiller Jiller Coe Coe
Captain Tom were callin' out "Jackie Jackie ride 'em down".
And every time they headed west they kept on veerin' off to the left,
As Jackie Jackie's wooden leg wore down some more,
And heaps of times they found, when they stopped and looked
around,
"Fuckin' hell, we named this fuckin' joint before".
Like, Burry Burry Dart Dart Mut Mut Bung Bung
Putta Putta Pickle Pickle Rew Rews Bun,
Tilla Tilla Tabba Tabba Turn Turn Burra Burra
Color Color Never Never Ever Done Done.
And that cooker Burra's laughed, as they slowly staggered past,
These two brave confused courageous men,
Some say Captain Thomas even taught the bloody Krays how to talk,
"Fuck Fuck! We're lo-lost again".
Somewhere near Tin Tin Yarra Yarra Curry Curry Mitter Mitter
Gan Gan Jarrah Jarrah Wee Wee Creek,
Wah Wah Walla Walla Gyp Gyp Ja Ja
With a stutter like his it was to-too fuckin' easy.
Names like Jing Jing Bulka Bulka Diddy Diddy Da Da
Catta Catta Millie Millie Yum Jum Jum,
Wong Wong Wong Wong Wulla Wulla Bogga Bogga
Yo Yo and Ya Ya just for fun.
And what about Maloo Maloo Marry Marry Me Me
Moony Moony Ban Ban Spree,
Chika Chika Wangy Wangy Key Key Whuck Whuck
Great Aussie names with a great ring ring.
Ghoul Ghoul Cutta Cutta Kerry Kerry Kin Kin
Gindy Gindy Pun Pun Gantham Ghantam War,
Pulka Pulka Mulka Mulka Bulka Bulka Gee Gee
Ghouler Ghouler Goon Goon but wait there's more.
Nunga Nunga Mug Mug Drum Drum Drick Drick
Kulla Kulla Mitty Mitty Kuppa Kuppa Cave,
Bulla Billa Bong Bong Doon Doonie Long
How long's this fuckin' song gonna take?!
But history states, that they finally lost their way,
And perished on the outback track they'd paved,
Somewhere between somewhere and somewhere else were Captain
Tom's final words,
Chiseled in a rock that marks his grave, 'Alice, Alice, where the fuck
is Alice?'
So all those Aussie towns with double names we thank you Captain
Tom,
The only man who ever lived who knew where Wuck Wuck was,
And Captain Thomas Stutterin' Stammers, to insure we don't forget,
Technology now bares your name, fuckin' TomTom GPS.
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