A Foul-tempered Rabbit by Monty Python
A Foul-tempered Rabbit lyrics
KNIGHTS: Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! etc.
KNIGHTS: Run away! Run away!
TIM: Haw haw haw. Haw haw haw. Haw haw.
ARTHUR: Right. How many did we lose?
???: Gawain.
???: Hector.
ARTHUR: And Boris. That's five.
GALAHAD: Three, sir.
ARTHUR: Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another
frontal
assault, that rabbit's dynamite.
ROBIN: Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR: Oh, shut up and go and change your armor.
GALAHAD: Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that
it will
make a mistake.
ARTHUR: Like what?
GALAHAD: Well,....
ARTHUR: Have we got bows?
???: No.
LAUNCELOT: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR: Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of
Antioch! 'Tis
one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with
him! Brother
Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
[singing]
How does it, uh... how does it work?
???: I know not, my liege.
???: Consult the Book of Armaments!
BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments, Chapter Two, Verses Nine to
Twenty-One.
BROTHER MAYNARD: And Saint Atila raised the hand
grenade up on high,
saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that
with it thou
mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.'
And the Lord
did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and
sloths, and
carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast
cereals, and
fruit bats, and large --
LANCELOT: Skip a bit, Brother.
BROTHER MAYNARD: And the Lord spake, saying, 'First
shalt thou take out
the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more,
no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the
number of the
counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor
either
count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to
three. Five is
right out. Once the number three, being the third
number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of
Antioch towards
thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff
it.'
BROTHER MAYNARD: Amen.
ALL: Amen.
ARTHUR: Right! One... two... five!
???: Three, sir!
ARTHUR: Three!
[boom]
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