The Bunny Who Wanted To Be A Rat by King Missile
Once there was an adorable little bunny
That hopped and bopped through the cotton fields
Eating carrots all day long
The people loved him
And thought he was so fuckking cute and sweet and good
And he hated that
He liked to eat the carrots
But that was about it
He had seen this movie Willard
About a bunch of rats who eat Ernest Borgnine
And a bunch of other people who are mean to Willard
Then they eat Willard because he tried to poison them
The adorable little bunny thought this was so cool
The bunny was tired of being cute and cuddly in the cotton field
The bunny wanted to go north, to the big city
And play in the garbage and scare people
By slithering around in the subways and on the streets
Bunny bunny wanted a rat tail, not a bushy cotton tail
Bunny bunny wanted to screech, like a rat, instead of a bunny
Bunny wanted to stop hopping; it was undignified and adorable
And bunny wanted to be more omnivorous
Carrots were ok but it would be so cool to eat stuff
That other people would throw away
"It would be like recycling
It would be better for the environment,"
Bunny would rationalize
"People can eat carrots
I'll eat what the people throw away
I'll live inside walls and screech
And if anyone ever tries to pat me again
I'll bite them and, hopefully, give them rabies
Oh! What a wonderful life it would be
To just be a rat!"
"There is one thing that really bugs me
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