Norman Family Tree Lyrics by Horrible Histories
Here's the tale of me. Matilda,
And my fight with cousin Stephen to succeed,
Henry first's throne.
My wife's also called Matilda,
Quite confusing cause we choose to claim
Matilda's throne our own.
I'm Henry that Matilda's son.
You got that. here's th story of our spat.
Starts in 1135, when king Henry, my father died,
And I think you'll find named me, Matilda, as his heir.
But his nephew, Stephen, said 'that crown should be upon my head'
I'm a man and men come first, what it's only fair.
Had married Geoffrey of Anjou,
Stuck in France not Waterloo.
When Steve without a vol-a-vout,
Took throne from me.
Should be dancing queen,
Oh stop causing such a scene!
Gimme, gimme crown and take a chance on me,
I'm heir to the throne not you! Ah-ha!
Think you'll get it back,
That I'd like to see!
Oh, I do, I do, I do!
Fought in Lincoln,
She caught me.
Was pro-claimed first English Lady!
But she made many enemies,
Remember me! I'm Stephens wife.
Made royal councillers agree,
That she lacked bare mininity.
Took Stephens army and beseiged her!
Eugh! More strife!
I was trapped so faked my death!
Hid in coffin, held my breath.
Escaped!
You think thst I'm impressed?
Well I'm not"
Just look how I've got, your half brother,
Want to swap?
Gimme, gimme hubby and we'll fight again.
The winner takes it all! Ah-ha!
In Oxford I'll beseige,
And I'll escape and then,
I'll join the battle core!
Age 14, I fought but lost,
So Uncle Stephen stayed the boss!
Who should be ruler, muma?
Mia! Here we go again!
Sadly my darling Matilda,
Caught a fever and it killed her.
I gave up my dream,
To build a royal dynasty!
When my son died,
Had no heir which was abide!
Gimme, gimme crown cause next in line it's me!
You can have it when I'm done! Ah-ha!
So I guess Matilda never did make queen.
The throne went to my son!
Knowing Mum, knowing you!
Everybody happy? Good!
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